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Chapter Four: Christian Ethics and the Homosexual
Iniquity and Sin and the Need for Forgiveness Most simply defined, iniquity is "turning from God" and sin is "action based on that turning." To be sure, iniquity and sin exist within this state of physical being:
From the Bible, we know that iniquity entered into the universe because of the Fall of Lucifer --- who is referred to, after his fall, as "Satan" (or, "the Adversary of God") --- and that sin entered into the world as a result of the Adamic Fall, or fall of humanity. What has happened as a result of sin is that condemnation was brought upon the world and --- concomitantly --- grief, guilt and shame upon all individual human beings. Yes, we all are sinners. As Scripture teaches, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:8 NIV) However, Scripture also teaches that Christ Jesus "himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness," (1 Peter 2:24 NIV) and that "if we confess our sins, he [Jesus] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9 NIV) [brackets mine] The Bible teaches that, as our substitutionary offering, the Lord Jesus Christ himself bore our shame upon the cross. (1 Peter 2:24) Such redemptive sacrifice includes all people who believe on him, heterosexual or homosexual. That the Lord Jesus has served as the atonement for our iniquity and sin means that, if we so accept him as our Lord and Savior, the Creator views us as sinless (or, without blemish), just as Jesus was sinless and without blemish. I bring this up as the most important issue, because it seems that even within the Christian church, there are many individuals who do not quite grasp the sinless nature of Jesus Christ. If, for some reason, you do not understand the substitutionary role that the Lord Jesus Christ played upon the cross when He offered Himself up as the only sacrifice acceptable to God the Father --- or, if you mistakenly believe that He had blemishes or that He made errors in judgment or sinned like everyone else --- then you are not grasping who Jesus really is. I believe that, if you are still struggling with the sinless nature of Jesus Christ, this work will help to confirm the words of the Bible as well as the certainty of their truth. Also, I believe that if you are homosexual and avoid portions of God's Word because you think that they condemn you, this work will help you to trust in the certainty of God's truth in its entirety. The forgiveness of others is also an especially important issue for members of the homosexual community, since many who belong to it have been victimized, abused, rejected, and despised, even by their own family-of-origin members and closest friends. And, for those reasons, forgiveness of others has special significance for them, since it is difficult for many of them to forgive. However, they must look to Jesus as their example and follow his command by forgiving others of their trespasses, or sins, against them. To be sure, our triune God has demonstrated His perfect love in forgiving us of our sins. In fact, the very first thing that our Lord and Savior said on the cross was, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:24 KJV) That was the very first thing Christ Jesus said on the cross! Can you imagine that? He asked that those who had committed this heinous crime against him be forgiven of that crime. Following Jesus' lead, the first Christian martyr, Stephen, said as he was being stoned, "Lord, lay not this sin up to their charge." (Acts 7:60 KJV) In other words, Stephen was following the example that the Lord set for us all whenever we come to know persecution, oppression, victimization, and abuse. Consequently, I urge you to not forget forgiveness, especially since this may be a primary issue for many who are reading this book. (Please do not misconclude here that I am advocating that you remain in a threatening situation or an abusive relationship. Though we are to turn our cheek, we need not run up to get it slapped.) An unforgiving spirit leads to bitterness, and bitterness leads to hatred, and hatred really is the antithesis of agape --- or, selfless --- love. And, when a person is in hatred, then he or she experiences its consequence, which is fear. Just as "perfect love [i.e., forgiveness] casteth out fear," (1 John 4:18 KJV) [brackets mine] conversely, unforgiveness, bitterness, and hatred permit Satan to work against us through his spirit of fear. Indeed, the verse continues, "fear hath torment." From a practical standpoint, if you live in fear or experience fear daily, it is important for you to determine if you are indulging the spirit of unforgiveness. You need to know that you will be liberated from fear as soon as you forgive others for their debts, trespasses, or sins against you. Our Lord also calls upon us to forgive those who have hurt us or who have been unkind to us that we might progress spiritually. It is just absolutely amazing that, unless we forgive people who have wronged us, we remain inextricably linked to them, and, consequently, we move through life in a repetitive, downward spiraling pattern. If we really want to get on with our lives and leave all unnecessary baggage behind, then we must forgive people who have hurt us. Relative to forgiveness, this is the command that has been given to us from Jesus Christ:
The previously cited verses carry a message that is an extension of the Lord's Prayer. Basically, they tell us that unless we forgive those who have sinned against us, our Father in heaven will not forgive us of our sins. If, however, we forgive those who have sinned against us, then our Father in heaven will forgive us of our sins (provided, of course, that we believe that Jesus is His Son and our Redeemer). Curiously, these two verses are often avoided by Christians, both homosexual and heterosexual alike; for some reason, people do not wish to pay attention to the severity of the ramifications if one refuses to forgive someone who has trespassed against him or her. Certainly, the Lord God Almighty not only teaches us that we need to forgive but has issued the edict for us to do so as well. Why are we commanded to forgive? To demonstrate that we have the same nature as Him (i.e., a forgiving one) and that He resides in us. It is the strangest thing, but our Lord teaches that unless we forgive, we cannot be forgiven. It is also the strangest thing that, as Christians, when people wrong us, we end up having a debt to repay them --- the debt of forgiveness. Scripture tells us to demonstrate that we are perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect. (Matthew 5:48) How do we demonstrate perfect love? By forgiving! Forgiveness is a demonstration of perfect love. This is how we show that we are the children of God and that we have been born again. For those of you who may have difficulty with forgiving others, you need not do it alone. The Lord will help you. All you need to do is ask Him. Relative to the seeming dilemma between Christianity and homosexuality, I believe that my ministry is to those persons who are struggling with the issue, heterosexual or homosexual. I do not believe that my ministry is to people who have already made up their minds one way or the other. I do not believe that it is very productive for me to share, discuss, and/or debate with someone who is already firm in his or her convictions concerning the issue (except, perhaps, in forums using forensic guidelines). To me, it is generally a waste of time, effort, and energy --- especially when there are so many people who are genuinely struggling with the issue and, as a result, deserve help in resolving it. To avoid a verbal conflagration, I try to apply the good sound advice found in Matthew 5:37 that advises us to sometimes keep our conversation to a minimum:
In a way, homosexuals and heterosexuals are like cats and dogs, but I do not mean that from the fighting standpoint. I have a cat and a dog at home, and they coexist. They just do not quite understand one another. Similarly, to a certain degree, heterosexuals have no clue as to what homosexuals are about and, to a certain extent, homosexuals do not have a clue as to what heterosexuals are about either. However, I will say that generally there is a greater understanding of heterosexuals by homosexuals than vice versa. Most homosexuals have been thoroughly exposed to, and indoctrinated by, the interests, experiences and belief systems common to the dominant heterosexual culture and climate. Relative to dealing with people who have been unkind to us, the Bible has this additional solid advice:
So, if someone trespasses against us, we are not to avenge that sin but, rather, forgive the debt (i.e., what they owe to us because of the trespass). Forgive the debt and, in so doing, get on with your life. Perhaps the trespass was born of malice. Perhaps it was born of ignorance. Regardless, it is important, in following the lead of our Lord, to ask for our Creator to forgive the trespasser as well --- just as Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34 NIV) In Matthew 5:44 (NIV), Jesus teaches us what we need to do: "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Yes, we need to love our enemies. We need to pray for those who hate us and despitefully use us. And, we need to bless those who curse us. These are definite commands that are given in the Bible relative to what we are to do if we are oppressed or victimized. That does not mean that we should not stand up for our rights. That does not mean that we should be very passive and give someone carte blanche to hurt us if we can prevent it. No, what it means is that we need to keep our distance from people who might try to hurt us, but we also need to keep in mind that we have certain responsibilities as Christians to forgive and forget. Forget, too? Yes, as Scripture teaches, love "keeps no records of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV) In Matthew 18:21-22 (KJV), it is recorded that the Apostle Peter approached the Lord and asked, "How often should we forgive?" The Lord responded to him and said, "Seven times seventy," or 490 times. That is a substantial number of times, indeed! I, of course, understand that the Lord was speaking figuratively. But, even if He were speaking literally, 490 times is a great number of times to forgive one person. My good guess is that even if you spent all day thinking about how many times your greatest enemy has maligned you, you would still be hard pressed to come up with 490 separate instances. To be sure, homosexuals need to join the "490 Club" and forgive those who have wronged them even if they continue to wrong them, recognizing that most trespasses against them are born of ignorance. As the truth that God loves and accepts homosexuals is revealed to the Christian community, those who victimize and bully homosexuals in the name of religion will no longer have a cloak for their trespass. Coming to an understanding that God loves everyone --- and that God accepts everyone for who he or she is, and what he or she is in terms of sexual orientation --- is crucial to countering the lies that have been spread about the irreconcilability of Christianity and homosexuality. Unfortunately, those lies have kept many homosexuals from the cross of Christ. Yes, there is individual responsibility, but there is societal responsibility as well with regard to spreading the gospel of Christ without condemnation or judgment to all who will listen. Fulfilling our Commitment to Christ The overwhelming majority of people believe that homosexuality is immoral. I do not. I believe that homosexuality is amoral and that homosexuals individually are either moral or immoral. As has been pointed out in Chapter One, within the Bible we are informed that "God is no respecter of persons." (Acts 10:34 KJV) I believe that. And, I believe it applies not only to earthly appearance but also to physical expression, personality, and sexual orientation. I believe that the Creator cares not one jot, iota, or yod about any aspect of our being human except that we try to reflect Him and His loving ways in all that we do. Spiritually speaking, love is the only real thing that can be multiplied and bear fruit. I do not believe that any sexuality (heterosexuality or homosexuality) is an expression of God except in the companionship, mutual support and shared intimacy of two people in a committed, monogamous relationship that has been blessed by Him. Indeed, I believe that sexuality is, at worst, a parody of --- or, at best, a parable of --- the creative powers of the Lord God Almighty and the communion His saints have with one another in their at-one-ment with Him. I am saddened that, for many Christians, the issue of AIDS has been turned into an issue of homosexuality. Why am I saddened? I think homosexuality is one area in which the organized Christian Church has given sanction to anti-Christian attitudes of condemnation and judgment as well as behaviors that are offensive to Christ, all of which turn many away from where they might be looking during their final days. The spirit of condemnation now operates through many who profess that Jesus is their Savior. It runs rampant through their hearts and minds and souls. For some strange reason, it "sets right" with many Christians --- at least many that I have heard and seen --- to take such a stand. Once, when visiting a self-identified "spirit-filled" church, I heard the pastor make a joke about homosexuals during his sermon. It received a good laugh from the audience; however, it made me feel badly for those homosexuals who may have been sitting in the congregation and who had already suffered rejection by many and were seeking the Lord, only to be made fun of by one of His "servants." Brothers and sisters, believe me, whenever cruelty raises its ugly head, you can be sure that whoever raises it is not testifying of Jesus' love and power to save. Like King David --- who chose to have retribution meted out by pestilence rather than by the hand of man (2 Samuel 24:13-15) --- I think that the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) should be feared less than men. Viruses come nowhere near the power of evil that can be generated through human beings who have given themselves over to malice, malevolence, and condemnation. Certainly, human beings are responsible for more damage and suffering than any infectious agent. Yes, there are those Christians who would agree that homosexuals may be "saved" but only on the condition that they repent and change their ways (that is, not act on their sexual orientation). However, homosexuals do not need to be saved from their homosexuality unless, of course, they are indulging in a hedonistic or sexually addictive lifestyle, just as any heterosexual in bondage to lust of the flesh needs to be saved from that appetite. Why? It is spiritually and emotionally unhealthy for anyone to view others as objects for self-gratification. Unfortunately, it is plain that many people (heterosexuals and homosexuals alike) believe corporeal flesh to be the eternal reflection and likeness of God as well as believe that the carnal nature, which animates that flesh, to be His pure, perfect and divine nature, --- ideas that I see as entirely incongruent with God's truth and, therefore, erroneous. Really, there is little I can say to clarify my views on homosexuality for them, because, for as long as they hold to such thinking, their understanding of sexuality (among other things) will remain earthbound. Simply stated, they will not be able to grasp God's indifference to sexual orientation. (Do not misinterpret here that I am saying the Lord is indifferent to human behavior.) For those who are genuinely struggling to reconcile what they feel inside is true concerning homosexuality with the views of mainstream Christianity (such views at variance with those feelings), I need to add this: When I pretended that I was a heterosexual so others might accept me, I was in effect rejecting God because I was living a lie. It was not until I became honest with myself and others that I was able to come to the real truth, which is to say, to the reality of Christ. That is not to say that I believe homosexuals have a license to licentiousness. Quite to the contrary, no. Unless one has been called personally to celibacy, I believe in the unadulterated sharing of the life and love of the Lord within the sanctity of a monogamous relationship. I believe that one of the highest relationships that can be achieved among souls within this earthly flesh is the one attained between two faithful helpmates who put God first and each other second. My mate and I have been with each other for 24 years at the time of this writing (2000) and neither one of us has been unfaithful to the other. This is one of the "secrets" to the longevity of our relationship. I believe that the so-called "curse" of homosexuality can even be turned into a blessing for those homosexuals who do not become involved in a frenetic escape from it in sexual addiction or in unhealthy repression of their own homosexual feelings. How? Through the challenge it presents. To perceive that one does not fit into an accepted mold or pattern can help lead one to the conclusion that people who are spiritually-minded are really strangers, foreigners, and pilgrims in this world. Such recognition is necessary, I think, before we can be fully returned to a heavenly home, where God expresses Himself in us and through us without measure. In other words, when dealt with correctly, the homosexual life experience can help one yield to Christ. With adversity, rejection, and suffering often comes enlightenment; however, generally speaking, the gifts of adversity, rejection, and suffering are not often gratefully received by souls in dust nor are they generally viewed as spiritual gifts. (I am not saying here that we should abrogate our responsibility to be active politically, demonstrate publicly, and stand up for our rights in peaceful protest.) I do believe that if I had not been homosexual I might have rejected the gospel message, because I would have been too comfortable and "at home" in this world. For this reason, I believe that my homosexuality has been a gift from God rather than a curse. Because of the challenge it presented, it helped me to turn to Him. To my friends who happen to be homosexual, I write this: Because the world has been afraid of us (it always fears what it does not understand), it has tried to suppress the natural development of our affections and emotions. And, since it has tried to repress the healthy expression of our sexual orientation as well as suppress knowledge of our existence, many of us --- without positive role models of any kind --- were consigned by society to lead lives in sordid, backroom-type, sinful activities. Because our personalities were fragmented, we were eaten up from the inside out by unhealthy sexual desires. However, it is time for us to break from the bondage of such a mental, emotional, and spiritual miasma. We need to resist the unhealthiness and sinfulness engendered by prevailing attitudes and actions propelled by Satan's spirit of condemnation. We need to take charge of our lives by yielding ourselves to God's Holy Spirit and the Will of Christ. We need to understand that our Creator loves us and that He could not care less about our sexual orientation unless, of course, we have not come to terms with it. What are the responsibilities of homosexuals? They are the same as heterosexuals. The Apostle Paul wrote, "I beg you, therefore, brothers, in view of God's mercies, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service." (Romans 12:1 ML) Thus, we should accept our rejection by mankind as well as our acceptance by God, taking time to be holy all the while. (Again, this is not to say that we should not peacefully struggle for justice and equality.) When they feel especially sad and lonely, should homosexuals not be able to turn to the one who knew the ultimate rejection, Christ, that their burdens might be shared? Can not Christians who happen to be homosexual have the same hope as Christians who happen to be heterosexual? Are homosexuals covered by God's grace? Yes, yes, and yes. Believe me, daily I prove God's saving grace and I witness of it to you. What is sexual immorality? Immorality, simply stated, is herewith defined as any sexual activity outside of the sanctity of a committed monogamous relationship. What does it include? It includes orgies, bath house activities, casual sex, adultery, lust or unchecked sexual desire, pornography, telephone sex, addictive masturbation, lap dancing, voyeurism, and even serial monogamy. "Serial monogamy" is continually passing from one short-term, albeit monogamous, relationship to another. This, too, is displeasing to the Lord. When Jesus met the Samaritan woman by the well and asked her to call her husband, the woman answered, "I have no husband." (John 4:17 NIV) Jesus replied to her:
The Lord God Almighty is a God of commitment, a God of vows and a God of promises. He expects the promises and the vows and the commitments that we make --- not only to Him but to each other --- to be executed and to be brought to full term and fruition. Thus, our God expects us to fulfill our commitments, including commitments relative to lifelong companionship! There have been many extra social pressures placed upon homosexuals. Because our relationships are not deemed natural, and because they are not fostered in emotionally-healthy ways (for example, there is no real courtship, as such, in high school), homosexual pair-bondings often get off to a very shaky start. Without the opportunity to experiment in developing healthy relationships during our pre-teen and teenage years, many of us are developmentally delayed --- destined to repeat unhealthy relationships because we missed out on that crucial time of experimenting and learning how to develop healthy lasting intimate relationships without running away from the challenges they present. Because we have had the added pressure of society frowning upon us for being together, it creates an extra burden for us individually and often takes its toll on our relationships. However, though I am aware of extra pressures on homosexual relationships, I am also aware of the extra responsibilities that we have as individuals in the spousal relationships that we do form. We need to continue on with those relationships --- especially when we, in the eyes of God, have been made one --- by not passing from one partner to another. I would also urge the heterosexual community to consider these words as well, because certainly all segments of society need to work on faithfulness and fulfilling commitments. It is just that, for homosexuals, there are some different burdens and added responsibilities that impact on companions remaining together, especially during the periods of difficult testing that all spousal relationships experience. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (NIV), the Apostle Paul further delineates our responsibilities to God and others. He states, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man [or woman] commits are outside his or her body, but he or she who sins sexually, sins against his or her own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, and whom you have received from God. You are not your own, you are bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." [brackets mine] Yes, honor God with your body! Both heterosexuals and homosexuals need to flee from sexual immorality. We need to resist temptation by recognizing and affirming scriptural truth. We need to look for a life-long partner, and if we have a life-long partner, then we need to stay committed to that partner throughout life. Such is very pleasing to the Lord. (Very, very pleasing.) We need to work at relationships. Both heterosexuals and homosexuals need to investigate why their relationships falter and fail. Why Holy Unions? Hindering marriage, or holy unions, between homosexuals contributes to immorality and not vice versa. During slavery, because Blacks were prevented from legally marrying in the slave states, many participated in a ceremony of "jumping the broom" to signify that they were mates to one another. Even some of the more benevolent slavemasters came to "jumping the broom" ceremonies of their slaves. However, the "marriage" ceremony consisted of the intended partners merely jumping over a broom. Was this ideal? No, of course not. Why? There were no vows exchanged. To be sure, when laws prevent marriage, we do what we can do in order to present ourselves to each other and to signal that we are committed to one another. However, it is not sufficient either to just jump a broom or simply rent a U-haul and move in together. Scripture teaches that:
Marriage specifically involves an exchange of vows between two intended spousal partners who desire to live in a committed lifelong monogamous relationship with one another in the sight of God. For those who might say that holy unions between two people of the same sex should not be performed because they are not legal, I would respond that the laws of God are higher than the laws of man. In other words, it is God who desires that we should marry in order to escape sexual immorality. (Read 1 Corinthians, Chapter 7.) Consequently, marriages between homosexuals should not be hindered. Jesus said, "what therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6b NIV) Scripture teaches that sexual intimacy between two people seals the vows that they have made between them "so they are no longer two but one flesh." (Matthew 19:6a NIV) If sexual intimacy takes place without the exchange of vows, then the potential for all sorts of problems is set up:
Joining oneself to nonspousal bedpartners produces all sorts of unhealthy natural consequences such as shared sexual addictions, shared emotional instabilities, and shared sexually transmitted diseases. Furthermore, Scripture is quite clear that God is against "fornication" (i.e., sex outside of marriage). Because marriage is God's ideal, homosexuals who profess love for one another should exchange vows. With the exchanges of vows comes rights, responsibilities, expectations, and trust that honor the love that two people share. That is why marriage should be honored by all, both homosexuals and heterosexuals alike. As Senior Pastor of Healing Waters Ministries in Tempe, Arizona, when two people come to me to perform a holy union, I counsel with them over a period of time to determine, as well as instruct them in, the following:
If the answer to any one of the previous questions is "no," then I will not perform the ceremony until such time as the answer is genuinely "yes." Otherwise, the couple would be unequally yoked together or their relationship based on false assumptions, and their partnership would be headed in the direction of failure. Restoration In the broadest sense, restoration refers to the reunion of humanity with the Lord God Almighty. That restoration is possible is due solely to the Lord and the Lord alone. It is He who has sought us. It is He who has refused to give His glory --- in this sense, His creation --- to the Devil. Because of His love for us, He has restrained His justified wrath from being poured out on His fallen created and, at the same time, provide a pathway of salvation for us to return to Him:
The Lord desires humanity to be restored to Him and desires that we be restored to each other in the process as well. Scripture is clear that we are considered by the Lord to be parts of a whole through the figurative language of our individual membership within the body of His Christ (1 Corinthians 12:12-31) and collectively as "living stones" in His spiritual temple, which has Jesus Christ as its cornerstone (1 Peter 2:4-8). Indeed, all of us are parts of God's whole. In the body of Christ, just as "the eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!'" (1 Corinthians 12:21 NIV) so, also, is it not permissible for Christian heterosexuals to say to Christian homosexuals, "we don't need you!"
Scripture teaches that, through the wounds of Christ, all separation from God has already been healed. (1 Peter 2:24) To be sure, when souls are added to the body of Christ at the time they accept Jesus as their personal Savior, they are instantly and immediately restored to God. In other words, saved souls are made whole and perfect in God's sight as soon as they are added to the Church Universal, which consists of the visible church as well as the invisible church (the latter including those who have already preceded the former into paradise). Unfortunately, the arm of the visible church is not outstretched to receive homosexuals into fellowship with it: Some denominations will not receive Christian homosexuals at all and others will not receive them as full participants. These are the areas in which restoration must yet take place. Since the foundation for such restoration has already been laid in Christ (i.e., upon his crucifixion), I anticipate that full restoration will come one day, although perhaps not completely until Jesus raptures his visible church and, then, returns to the earth. When asked when he was going to restore the kingdom to Israel (which occurs upon his return), Jesus responded and said, "'It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.'" (Acts 1:7 NIV) Similarly, we may not know when complete restoration for Christian homosexuals to the visible church will occur until it has happened. It is my hope that this book is part of the good beginning for reconciliation and restoration since its message seeks to honor the name of the Lord, and influence others toward good, God. Concluding Remarks In summary, Christian heterosexuals have no right to call homosexuals unclean when God has cleansed them --- even under the guise of "hating the sin but loving the sinner." To be sure, the homosexual orientation is no more sinful that the heterosexual orientation. And, if Christian homosexuals want to lay claim to all of the promises of God, then they need to act responsibly --- in accordance with the ideal of morality inscribed within God's Word, the Bible. All who seek to enter the Kingdom of God must take time to be holy, and that includes having holy spousal relationships unless God has called them to be celibate. Those who do will not regret it when they hear the Lord Jesus say to them, "Well done, my good and faithful servants. You may enter the heavenly gates!" Relative to the artificial division that currently exists between Christian heterosexuals and Christian homosexuals, it is fitting that I close this final chapter with Christ Jesus' prayer to God the Father for all believers (i.e., both heterosexual and homosexual persons):
Because this prayer is the prayer of Christ Jesus, it is in perfect agreement with the will of God the Father. Therefore, the prayer will be answered and its prophetic elements fulfilled. Now, let us look forward to that time with eager anticipation. |